If By "Classic" You Mean "Completely Unacceptable"

On Thursday, Ali and I were fortunate enough to spend a few hours with Jason! in the Mall of America, prior to his departure from our fair state. I, for one, had a splendid time. We commandeered the one comfortable chair in Caribou Coffee on the third floor, wandered pointedly back and forth in front of Chinese and Japanese fast food restaurants until we got free chicken samples, and spent copious amounts of time sitting in child-sized green Adirondack chairs in the children's book department of Barnes and Noble. While wedged between the glossy armrests, we read aloud from literary classics: Sammy the Seal, A Bargain for Frances, and, of course, Barbie as The Princess and The Pauper (based, as the cover proudly proclaims, on the video).

This last narrative wonder featured Barbie as Princess Anneliese, in love with her tutor, Julian, but betrothed to King Dominick. Fortunately, when Anneliese and Julian were in the market, they met Erika (also played by Barbie), a common dressmaker, who was identical (gasp!) to the princess but had dark hair instead of blonde and lacked a royal crown-shaped birthmark on her shoulder. Hilarious and suspenseful antics ensued, involving a gold mine filled with sparkling geodes, a geyser, two good cats and an evil dog, and a dastardly courtier named Preminger. (I feel that the names in this story are all either too complex to pronounce or have extraneous letters.)

All in all, the tale successfully horrified us to no end. There was, however, one saving grace: Princess Anneliese had a cat. When the princess was trapped in the dressmaker's shop, this clever kitty was entrusted with delivering a message to the castle. "Take this ring and this business card to the place," said the princess (well, perhaps not in those exact words...). "Then they'll know where to find me." Of course, the cat's efforts were ineffectual in the end because Preminger was the recipient of the message, but no matter - kitty was still quite brave.

The cat's name was Serafina.