A Splendidly Marvelous Day

WHEREAS Margaret Alice Weathers is a splendidly marvelous individual and

WHEREAS she was born on this day in 1981 and

WHEREAS this anniversary must not go any longer without widespread acknowledgment

THEREFORE I hereby propose that we celebrate a national "Birth of Margaret Alice Weathers" Day.

This year's inaugural holiday kicks off with the latest in technological celebrations: your very own virtual bash. See, the tent is set up in that field over there. It's quite nice, really, white and airy (we're going for debutante rather than circus at the moment), and it houses the ever-popular refreshment table. The catering firm has done an excellent job arranging the buffet: ice sculptures of Graciela and Don are melting more quickly than expected, and the lobster rolls aren't quite up to par with those available at Charlie's Kitchen, but other than that things on the food front are going well. I special-ordered several varieties of Cheerios; see, they're being served in the huge cereal vats over there. Don't worry - Serafina has her own carton from which to nibble, and I already consumed my box of Honey Nut for the day, so I'm set. And there's cake - and lots of it - that we'll serve with afternoon tea.

Along with virtual bashes come virtual presents (in addition, of course, to the real thing). For this part of your gift, let me offer the following admission: because of your love of terrifying films, I sat through 28 Days Later, the one scary movie I actually recommend. You hear that, Meg? Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Cabin Fever - all worth it. (Well, I'll say that for today, anyway.) What did the rest of you lot bring?

Now go ahead, take your virtual gifts and go jump in the bouncy haunted house that's been inflated just behind the tent (can't be a debutante all the time, you know). You're sure to find some superintelligent sharks and zombie dogs and whatnot careening off the (plastic) walls in there - just what you need to test out your peril-eluding and gravity-defying skills. And because of my newfound respect for the genre of frightening film, I'm right behind you. Uh... really...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEG!