Peeking

In the early dark of this fall night, I pull my jacket more tightly around myself; its thin khaki is no match for a breeze that hints of winter. I’d rather be huddled by the fireplace with a cup of tea, but Ali and Michal and I are venturing out in search of a late dinner. We’re all set to go – the house is locked, the jack o’lanterns are lit, and a bowl of fun sized candy bars has been set out for any intrepid costumed youths – but the bite in the air makes me hesitate. “I’ll be right back,” I say as I dash back in the door and up the stairs, opening my closet in search of a slightly warmer sweater.

While extricating my arms from long cotton sleeves and tugging off my t-shirt, I glance down through a single window toward the house next door. I haven’t ever seen the gentleman who lives there. Ali swears he exists – she’s spotted him walking his dog and mowing his lawn – but whenever I look, the house is sealed tight, its curtained windows shutting out the world. Tonight, though, as I stand still, peering half-clad through the twilight, a slotted glow cuts across the darkness. The neighbor’s blinds are open, and the familiar abrupt horizon of white siding stretches back to reveal a living room. A floor lamp illuminates two armchairs, a desk, a file cabinet, all sliced through by thin beige slats. I lift a red sweater over my head, but distraction makes me move slowly, and I continue to peer toward the newness of next door.

I don’t know how it happens, but a figure materializes next to an armchair. He doesn’t move into place; he doesn’t abruptly appear. He simply is, suddenly. His eyes reflect the lamp’s light without wavering, and I freeze behind a lattice of bright wool, caught in his beaming gaze. We both remain motionless, locked in one moment, unsure of whether to be indignant at this blatant peeking or ashamed of the voyeurism that has been exposed.

I blink, and he is gone – no, he never was there. I close my own shades, shaking my head ruefully at the Halloween ghosties that spark my overactive imagination, and trundle down the stairs toward the outside chill and dinner.