An Educational Weekend

It's true, you know: you really can learn something new every day.

On Friday, I learned how to play poker. Badly. This isn't a reflection on my teachers, of course; it's just that the small corner of my brain that was originally intended to house intimate knowledge of poker strategy has now completely atrophied due to a lifetime's lack of use. The game was Texas Holdem, and I know there was a River and a Flop and some other thingo in between the two, but that's about as much as I recall. Over the course of the evening, I managed to use up all my nickels and dimes a total of four times. After this spectacular failure, I am no longer allowed to play poker.

On Saturday, I learned how to open a bottle of wine with a Philips-head screwdriver, a screw of proper length, and a needlenose pliers. It's a tricky science, you realize, opening a bottle of wine with these less-than-proper implements. You have to make sure to insert the screw far enough into the cork to avoid splitting it, and you have to make sure to apply the pliers at the proper angle in order to make the cork move. I hear they invented some object that operates on the same principles as our jury-rigged machine, but I put no stock in such technology.

And today, I learned that should you wish to make a cereal-and-marshmallow-based dessert bar, it is perfectly acceptable to substitute Cocoa Pebbles for Rice Krispies without otherwise altering the recipe. Now my brain is all worn out; learning something new every day is hard work, after all.